Hosea

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Hosea’s 11th Heaven Day

Today marks 11 years since my little man Hosea Nathan went to heaven. In many ways it feels like a lot of time has past because we have lived so much life in the last 11 years…so much change, so many hardships, and equally as many joys.   But in so many ways, it also feels just like yesterday that I was holding him, changing his diaper, and trying to keep his sisters from smothering him with their kisses.   At times, I still

When You’re Stuck, #ResetWithMe

Anytime someone chooses honesty and authenticity it’s risky.  Each of us have different “lenses” due to life experiences and/or faith that we evaluate others through.   Although being authentic and real may feel risky, but it’s far more satisfying and freeing to be “you” and let go of what others think you should be or need to be.   Many of us live under layers of fear, shame, and insecurity, exhausted with trying to cover up the ugly, imperfect parts of ourselves – it’s

The Day the Bottom Fell Out

Have you ever had a day, week, month, or even year where it feels like the “bottom just fell out?”  That’s has been us for the past few weeks.  There have been so many negative things that happened back to back that one begins to scratch their head and wonder – and pray more.   One of our cars (new to us) went to the shop 5 (yes 5) times for the exact same issue. The owner was rather perplexed at why

Tears…Are They OK?

Is it ok to cry?   Have you ever asked yourself that?  I have recently been wrestling with this question.  Seven years have passed since I held my son and kissed his tiny, soft head. Today, at 6:28 I could remember every sight, smell, and sound of that tragic moment. The past seven years have been a mixture of some of the darkest hours of my life as well as the brightest.  From anger and depression to joy and triumph and everything

From the Wilderness to the Promised Land

Today marks 6 years since Hosea “graduated” to heaven. We had such a wonderful celebration of his life this year on his birthday in April and wanted his heaven day to be a continuation of that. For anyone who has ever lost someone dear to them I’m sure you know what “marker days” can feel like.   There are certain things that may trigger memories and even the time of day can take you back to that moment in time when everything shifted.

Hosea's 6th Birthday (Video)

I’m not even sure how to start this blog.  This last year was the 5th year since Hosea went to heaven and words really can’t describe all that’s happened this year.  “5” is the number of Grace. This year has truly been a year of grace, full of unexpected blessings, unprecedented personal growth, and the beginning of new things.  God’s grace is the only way we have made it to this moment in time, as a family, stronger than we

Remembering Hosea’s 4th Birthday

Today we are celebrating Hosea’s fourth birthday! While he was born on Palm Sunday, today is his actual birthday. In the past few years, it has felt like we braced for impact of the wide range of emotions that the day would hold. I’m sure this is perfectly normal. “Marker days” are tough, no matter how healed  your heart is. These days just seem to remind us even more of how much we miss Hosea. However, we are trying a little

Hosea Lives

As I write this morning, there is sadness mixed with so much thankfulness at all God has done in Nathan and I over the past 4 years. I’m so thankful that I can be sad, cry, and miss my son without going to the dark depths of depression that I once got sucked into the moment I let myself “go there.” God has redeemed, and is redeeming, all that the enemy has stolen. The fullness of this redemption continues

Hosea’s Journey

In order to tell my son’s story, I almost have to tell my own first. Hosea’s life came as a direct result of me receiving God’s Son. Everything his short life represents is a powerful testimony of God’s grace—something that I missed early on in my life.  I’m not sure how I missed it exactly, because I know that it was there, but the Enemy is a deceiver and the Father of Lies and I definitely believed the lies. As

Holiday Highs and Lows

Today I find myself struggling to verbalize all that is in my heart.  With the holidays coming there is oftentimes mixed emotions for many people–especially those who have experienced loss.  Those losses might be people, things, or even dreams.  But the holidays seem to have a way of stirring up those places in us that just might need a deeper level of healing.  It’s up to us to pursue.  Thankfully, this is a process with no time constraints.  And