Remembering Hosea’s 4th Birthday

//Remembering Hosea’s 4th Birthday

Today we are celebrating Hosea’s fourth birthday! While he was born on Palm Sunday, today is his actual birthday.

In the past few years, it has felt like we braced for impact of the wide range of emotions that the day would hold. I’m sure this is perfectly normal. “Marker days” are tough, no matter how healed  your heart is. These days just seem to remind us even more of how much we miss Hosea.

However, we are trying a little something different this year.  We are going to try to actually celebrate his life and birth. I have not been in a place to celebrate his life until this year. And while celebrating may not be fanfare and blow out parties, I think the Lord has allowed our hearts to heal enough to see that his life is worth celebrating because he is very much alive. God is the God of the living, not the dead. So Hosea is alive today…more alive than you or I even. So today, I will celebrate his life.

It is different when you lose a infant because their birthday is followed so closely by their “Heaven Day.”  It has been a hard thing the past 3 years to try to “celebrate” or remember his birthday without it being quickly over-shadowed by the day he passed away (May 6…exactly 4 weeks after he was born).  Has anyone else lost a child or loved one that has those two days so close together? I’m wondering how others have dealt with this harsh reality–that birth and death days follow so closely behind each other.

Has anyone out there lost a loved one that has any thoughts on how they spend that special “marker day?” I would love to hear your comments and ideas.

I’m not sure what the day will end up looking like, but for right now, we are making pancakes (a tradition on someone’s birthday) and are headed off to the park or Jump Zone (something we do on the kids’ birthdays as well). Hosea, we celebrate you today!

14 Comments

  • Sweet Oates Family – A mom of a boy in Caleb’s MDO class lost a son an hour after birth. He was born without kidneys. They discovered this at her 20 week ultrasound and were advised to abort. They believed in God and carried the baby full term. They knew he wouldn’t survive but prayed that God would give them one hour with their sweet baby. He did just that. They CELEBRATE his birthday every year. I think she said they go and have dinner and ice cream and joyously talk about the blessings that came from him (doctors and nurses astounded by their faith) and the joy of one day seeing him in Heaven.

    I cannot even imagine what this day is like for you but I praise you for wanting to celebrate his short life. We’d love to participate in a celebration with you!

    Kerry Lopez 09.04.2010
    • Wow, is this your friend you were telling me about? I want to meet her! I don’t feel like I’ve walked this journey with such astounding faith as that. I’ve had my low-lows and some high-highs, but that story is amazing! I’m thankful God is so faithful to see us through to the end. I wouldn’t be this far if it wasn’t for him. thank you for your love, encouragement, and sweet balloons. They are still in the middle of our table as a happy reminder. Love you!

  • Praying for you guys today; and this month coming. An idea I heard: over ice cream and cake everyone got to pick one question that they would ask their loved-one. So each person gets to ask Hosea a question, any question. Then you tie the question to a balloon and let it go.
    However you choose to celebrate, know we will be celebrating his life with you.

    Holly 09.04.2010
    • Thank you so much Holly! I think we are going to do this on his Heaven Day. That’s one you don’t really celebrate but more remember. So this is a great idea for that! I love you so much!

  • We lost our sweet twins, Elizabeth and William, on their birth – day. Driving to the hospital to deliver, the car was broadsided and they were delivered and died on the roadside. It took me a year to breathe again…and the first year “marker” was the marker too for the time we thought we would be celebrating their birthday. It was horribly bleak and only 9 days before Christmas, but that same Christmas marked the turn of my anguish into healing. I am still working on embracing holidays. I don’t like them period. But I do enjoy the family gatherings, the love and the hearts that are bound together. I enjoy watching others enjoy the unity of family. It is better, 12 years later….and it is different, and it is more manageable. And one day…one day I will hear Elizabeth and William call out to be from the Heavenly realms as I embrace Jesus Christ, and I will know that my healing is complete.

    We love you Oates Brand sooo much!!

    Sarah Byrd 09.04.2010
    • Sarah, I can’t even imagine the trauma you have walked through. While our situation was very traumatic, I can’t imagine how you must have gone through. Thank you for sharing your heart and story. I love you so and your family so much!

      I’m so sorry that holidays are still so yuck for you! Special days and marker dates are so hard. I’ve learned much this year about how trauma can literally reset your cells and you have a “cell memory” that is now trauma. Have you noticed patterns every holiday or marker day? Sickness, exhaustion, depression, etc.? We did and this year we said, NO more! This is the enemy’s way, not God’s. As God’s kids, we do not have to receive trauma and loss as the foundation of our life. He can redeem the horrible things and heal in a way we thought was unimaginable! The sadness will always accompany those marker days. It’s just human. But this year I really feel like we were set free, or at least began the process of, being set free from trauma and the effects (physically, emotionally, etc.) on the body. It’s amazing what happens in the unseen realm when trauma takes place. It is a wide open door for the enemy to come in and steal. I will be praying that these doors will be closed for you and life restored. I know the past few years have been extremely hard!

      I’m proud of you and you are an amazing woman and mom! Thanks again for sharing your heart. We love you!

  • Jenny,

    I can relate to your loss in a way, but I know the Lord is showing you some amazing things, and celebrating his early “homegoing” is a good thing to do! Though you and your family have not been able to enjoy him on this earth, he is in heaven with Jesus, free from pain and suffering that this life on earth gives.

    I lost my baby brother, Christopher Martin, when I was 10 years old. He left us when he was 6 months old, he was such a joy to our parents and older 7 sisters and 1 brother. You never forget that day of loss, but as I grew older and after I received Jesus as my Lord in my late 20’s, I began to have the true knowledge of where Christopher went after he left us. I know where is spirit lives on….in Heaven with Jesus, which has given me great comfort over these many years. Though he had a physical death, he has spiritual life eternal in Heaven…such a comfort to know.
    I also lost four of my own babies to miscarriage…and I KNOW I will meet them one day when I go to be with my Maker!

    It’s clear that you draw your faith and strength from the Lord, and your blogs are a true witness of your life as a Believer and what He has done for you through heartache and trials.

    Meredith E. is our daughter….she has told me about you and the wonderful friendship you two have made!

    Isn’t it wonderful that OUR HOPE is secure in the One who saved us?!!

    Sincerely,
    Shelley Stipes
    St. Peters, MO

    Shelley Stipes 10.04.2010
    • Thank you Shelly for sharing. Your words are always encouraging. I am so sorry for your losses. Wow. I have had three miscarriages as well. Loss is hard no matter what. It is heartbreaking and I hate it for everyone. But I definitely am so thankful that I am not walking this alone. His grace has been sufficient. It doesn’t stop the pain, but He keeps me moving forward, getting up each day, continuing to smile and finding joy. Those are all things I don’t know how people do if they don’t know the Lord! Even with Him it is hard. Without him…impossible. thank you and blessings on you and your family!

  • Jenni~
    My heart aches for you but I also rejoice for you that you are able to celebrate Hosea now and be in a place where you feel healed! I hope you had a wonderful time remembering your sweet baby boy and to know that he is in Heaven waiting for you all!

    Pancakes are a birthday tradition in our house too:) Thanks for sharing and always being so open with your feelings and life, it is encouraging!

    erica 14.04.2010
    • Pancakes are a big tradition for us too!! We did them for dinner this time! 🙂 thanks Erica! How are you doing?

  • I am praying and thinking of your beautiful family.
    All of you are loved so much and I praise you for serving pancakes in celebration of his
    birth. They are always a special and favorite treat!

    Mary Ann Scott 13.03.2011
    • Thank you Aunt Mary! We love you and appreciate your kind words! The journey continues as his birthday is coming around again.

  • Thank you Shelly for sharing.

    Our daughter lost her baby girl at birth. She too was born with kidney problems. Like Kerry’s friend, they discovered through her ultrasound that she had damaged kidneys and it was suggested she abort. They prayed and believed in God and carried her full term. He instead took her to be with Him. I still remember dressing her for the last time. I couldn’t stand to have someone stranger dress her in her tiny clothes so her Nana did it. My little granddaughter will always be special to all of us. Unfortunately Little Camryn is the only child our daughter has been able to conceive and to love.

    Yes it is clear that you draw your faith and strength from the Lord, and your blogs are a true witness of your life as a Believer and what He has done for you through heartache and trials.

    MaryLois
    Camryn’s Nana

    MaryLois 12.01.2012
    • Wow MaryLois, thank you for sharing your story. I really appreciate it. I am so, so sorry for your loss. Words can’t adequately describe the pain and I can hear it even through your words. 🙁 There is a healing that comes from the Lord. And peace. It took me a long time to get there. I pray you and your family find grace and strength on this journey that never ends till we get to heaven! Remembering Camryn with you.

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