I struggled pretty much all throughout high school with an eating disorder called anorexia nervosa. Many people, who are similarly fighting their own battle ask me what I did to “get over it.” I find it somewhat hard to narrow it down to a systematic way of what helped me “get better” although I love systems and plans. By nature, I want a 1-2-3 point system that we can follow to get from point A (sick) to point B (better).
I’m finding that heart issues are not always that cut and dry or so easy to solve.
The reason? It comes down to one word. Relationship.
We all were designed for a real, live relationship with the God who created us. He wants to hang out with us so much that He knew if we could 1-2-3 fix ourselves, we’d never need Him. Again, that’s just how we are wired. The moment we get it all figured out, poof, He is out of the picture!
I’ve learned through my own journey with an eating disorder to see it as a process. Through this process, I desperately needed God to break through for me, give me wisdom, hold me up on the bad days, love me every day, and just be there through it all.
An eating disorder is usually a very silent thing and for years I felt completely isolated…even from God. The loudest voice I would hear is the one between my own ears–and believe me, it was very loud. But through this process of healing, my need drove me to a deeper relationship with God, which may not have happened had He snapped His fingers and made it all disappear.
I learned an important truth:
God was not just about fixing me from an eating disorder; He cared about healing what was causing the eating disorder.
In other words, He didn’t want to fix the problem…he wanted to show me why I had the problem in the first place–all for the purpose of healing that hurt. And some of the “why” is still being worked on—because it is a process!
My healing from anorexia was (is) three-fold. You can click here to see some of that process.
And I’d love to hear about yours. Leave me a comment below.