Hosea's 6th Birthday (Video)

//Hosea's 6th Birthday (Video)

I’m not even sure how to start this blog.  This last year was the 5th year since Hosea went to heaven and words really can’t describe all that’s happened this year.  “5” is the number of Grace. This year has truly been a year of grace, full of unexpected blessings, unprecedented personal growth, and the beginning of new things.  God’s grace is the only way we have made it to this moment in time, as a family, stronger than we were before we started this journey.   I am not the same mom to my children that I was before I met my son Hosea. His life has changed me forever.  I’m not the same wife, business owner, or friend that I was before either. His short life here on earth, but an ongoing life in heaven, has taught me in this 5th year what God’s grace is really all about….it is “super” natural…not of this world or of anything we can produce on our own. In my weakness, HE is strong.   When I partner with God and rely on His grace, I am truly supernatural because He is!!  What I can do goes far beyond my own ability. For too long I’ve relied on my own strength. My own strength has not gotten me where I am today.  It’s been God’s grace that has carried me here.

So as we head into our 6th year, we have had major heart revelation about just how “alive” our son is.  He is not dead….he is risen.  It’s not his death that has changed us….but his life that is ongoing.  Our hearts ache for him still.  No matter how much we’ve changed and grown through this tragedy, he is our son, a real person who was and is a part of our family. We held him, changed his diapers, had dreams for him. The girls, this year more than ever, have grieved his loss and realize that is still “stinks” that he isn’t here with us to celebrate life on earth.  But at the end of the day, through tears, we always rest knowing that “He is risen….just as He said.”  Because of Jesus, we will see our son soon!

We put together this video to show our birthday celebration this year.  Hosea, Mommy and Daddy love you and can’t wait to hold you and enjoy life with you again soon.  Your brother Asher Hosea talks about you every day and loves you, as do your sisters.

Today we decided to paint our thoughts and feelings….a picture is worth a thousand words. Each of the kids got their own canvas to paint whatever came to their hearts.  Eden was determined to paint a portrait of Hosea at 6 years old.

Micaiah has had major breakthrough in her life in the last 2 weeks in regards to the loss of her brother.   It has been life-changing to say the least. Her painting flowed out of all that God has done in her little heart. Thank You, Lord, that you heal!  And the Finished Products:

Asher Hosea: “Happy & Blessed; Yeshua, Salvation”

“Eden Grace: God’s Delight; Full of Grace”

Micaiah Joy: “Jehovah is Salvation; Full of Joy”

Nathan has never painted in his life. This is what came out of listening to God as he painted today.  The meaning of the painting is that God is holding Hosea and that God has pulled each of us out for Intimacy with Him (the world behind the hand).  Hosea has already discovered this in it’s fullness, but each of us are in the process of discovering this. And this has been a huge truth that has helped Nathan….God is not the God of the dead, but of the living, meaning Hosea truly is alive. He is not dead.

And mine was a collage of many things that have happened in my life since Hosea.  It’s far too much to write here, but here are a few thoughts.  He was our number 3 son. That number has become very significant in our lives.  BurstClub’s entire system revolves around the number 3. Micaiah was 3 when Hosea passed away. Nathan is a 3rd child. There are many 3s in our life and God is redeeming that number for us.  Jesus is LIFE.  Because of what He has done, dying for my sins, in my place, and raising again 3 days later, we can live life fully alive. We don’t have to survive. One day we will rise again, and Hosea already has. But it’s more than just “When we all get to heaven what a day THAT will be….”  It’s about NOW too!  He died and rose so that we can LIVE now.  Loss, pain, trauma, tragedy…..we have been in a season of mourning.  But joy comes in the morning. He has traded our mourning for dancing and has been calling me to “Rise up!”  No more grave, no more sorrow, no more shame, no more going back to old ways of thinking that I’ve been set free from.  He is calling all hearts who have been broken to rise up!  He will put them back together again.   He is the vine….and we abide in Him. This is where life is found.  I lived most of my life thinking I had life….that I knew God. But it was all intellectual knowledge and based in religion….not true relationship where I live daily with Him.  He is real and wants to talk with us every day. I’m experiencing that in new ways and it is way better than religion! 😉 Religion only brought death and performance, stress and striving, into my life.  Relationship makes us fully alive!  And the “H” in the left bottom corner represents New Life that has been ushered in to our lives when Hosea was born 6 years ago.  We will never be the same.  A new tree, with new branches and leaves have been planted. A new generation has begun.  Our family wants MORE of Him…more waves of his mercy, grace, love, blessings, and favor. More visions, more dreams, more healing. More!   And it’s a process (represented in the swirl).

Today ended with sending Hosea’s balloons like we always do.  It was a good day….an emotional day.  Eden cried for an hour after we let the balloons go.  She had one of those moments that hits each of us at different times where we realize he is not here to love, hold, and raise.  Our hope is in the fact that we WILL see him one day soon because of Jesus, but there are momentary “waves” of sadness that come and there is really nothing to do or say…you just cry.  And it’s OK.  My tears don’t make him come back, nor do they make it all better.  But the tears release things that can stay bottled up inside.  Micaiah cried early this morning as well over missing her brother so much.  Her broken heart made me cry. At first that scared her…she hates to see me cry.  But I told her when I cry with her that I”m sharing her tears and sharing the load she feels. She doesn’t need to worry about my heart. I’m just carrying her tears with her.

I’m thankful that these “waves” of sadness no longer end in despair. God has done so much in my heart and I can truly say, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower.  The righteous run to it and are safe.”  His name is where I rest….one day, one year, at a time.

13 Comments

  • Jenni, as a family, we have all watched the video and have wept with you, but also we are overwhelmed at the message that is coming through loud and clear through Hosea’s life…He is Risen and yes, He is Alive!…He is a reminder that each of us in Christ, we never die…we have life eternal…wow. Thank you for sharing your hearts and your lives with us, we learn so much from you guys as you share this journey with us. We are praising God for what He continues to do in each of you…consequentially, He is doing much in us all through Hosea’s life..we love you all so much.

    Laura 10.04.2012
  • Thank you so much for sharing this. WOW at the further healing and life God brought through each of your paintings. They are priceless. What an incredible past few weeks it has been!! Thank You Jesus for the resurrections experienced this 2012 Easter season!

    Rebekah 10.04.2012
  • This is absolutely amazing. I wept as I read this and watched the video. Your paintings are masterpieces. What a fitting celebration for Hosea’s birthday this year, as the Lord is painting and perfecting a masterpiece of His glory in your beautiful family. What a treasure you are. LOVE YOU GUYS SO VERY MUCH. [Do you remember the revelation the Lord gave me about “hand” and “marriage” (aka intimacy)?!]

    Tara 11.04.2012
  • Jenni, I am in a puddle of tears – just like I was yesterday when you told us a little bit about your family and the faithfulness of God at GC. Thanks so much for sharing your journey of hope and healing. It’s so beautiful.

    Julie 12.04.2012
  • Peace, love and joy!

    Moyra 13.04.2012
  • What a great celebration!

    I count it a blessing and an honor to know you and your family!

    Awesome!

    I’m absolutely convinced that nothing—nothing living or dead, angelic or demonic, today or tomorrow, high or low, thinkable or unthinkable—absolutely nothing can get between us and God’s love because of the way that Jesus our Master has embraced us Rom 8:38 (MSG)

    Chris 13.04.2012
  • Jenni, you probably don’t know me, but I taught with your mom at grace for several years. I was in Africa with your mom right around the time Hosea went to be with Jesus as well as your brothers little one. I cried as I watched this video, tears for your family and also for my own 2 babies that I never got to meet that are in heaven. I read your comments about the journey you all have been on and it encouraged my heart again to keep seeking after Jesus and holding tight to Him daily. And it encouraged me to praise God that He doesn’t let go of me.

    Theresa holritz 14.04.2012
    • Thank you for sharing Theresa. It was a tragic time for all involved but I”m thankful that God always redeems what’s been stolen by the enemy. He is good. I pray your journey leads you to experiencing His goodness like never before.

  • We were so touched by the beautiful video celebrating the Birthday of our precious grandson, Hosea Nathan. Thank you for sharing. We love you all and our thoughts and prayers are always with you! We love you more than words. Mom/Nona & Dad/Papa

    John 14:9 “…because I live, ye shall live also.”

    Nona 19.04.2012
  • Today is a day I wanted to hear your heart and feel your pain, and experience your joy. So reading your experiences cut thru my heart in a good way. Your tenderness and vulnerability is what is so refreshing to me. Many people lose a child, and they shut the door on those memories, those conversations, those painful experiences. They stuff and cut off a part of their soul. How beautiful to see, you all express and cherish Hosea, in a tangible way. Allowing your children to spend time pondering eternity, is priceless, for them and their intimacy with God. Because they’ve never seen God, they have seen Hosea. So when they know now that he is in heaven with Jesus, that makes it less obscure and foreign. Rock on Oates…..you are taking what could have been an excuse to run from God, curse Him, and be done with Him, and embrace, grow and cherish. Spiritual maturity……bravo!!!! Love you all!

    Bethany 20.04.2012
    • Bethany, I love you. Thank you for walking through hell with us and for staying strong in your own journey with the loss of you little man Trace. I know they celebrate these days together. It is easier to stuff it all, walk away, and pretend it never happened, but those are roots that go deep and eventually start to surface again. The only option for us to really live life again has been to face it and run to God, not from him….which is what I did for 2 years and it was worse than anything! I love you friend. Thank YOU for your transparency too.

  • […] marks 6 years since Hosea “graduated” to heaven.  We had such a wonderful celebration of is life this year on his birthday in April and wanted his heaven day to be a continuation of that.  For […]

  • […] Promised Land Today marks 6 years since Hosea “graduated” to heaven. We had such a wonderful celebration of his life this year on his birthday in April and wanted his heaven day to be a continuation of that. For […]

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